Burger King to Begin Home Deliveries

DailyMail -  In a move that is sure to send a shiver down the spines of anti-obesity campaigners everywhere, fast-food giant Burger King has announced plans to launch a home delivery service.  The nation’s second largest burger chain has been quietly testing the service at four of its restaurants in the greater Washington area.  For decades burger restaurants have resisted introducing home-delivery services as the snacks don’t travel well and tend to go soggy when warmed up in a microwave.  But Burger King claims to have solved the problem by developing what it calls ‘proprietary thermal packaging technology,’ which ensures the food won’t arrive cold and congealed.

If there’s one thing Americans need, it’s fast food delivery service.  Universal health care?  Pfffft.  It’s about time someone got our priorities straight.  No longer will we have to get up off the couch, throw on clothes, make a 10 minute drive, wait in line at the drive-thru, and then demolish 2000 calories in the parking lot because you’re too ashamed to eat inside.  It will be as easy as dialing a number, mumbling a combo number and waiting in your underwear on the sofa.  This is revolutionary!  This is awful!  This is America!