I was browsing the internets looking for shit to blog about and I came across this dolphin and dog “sharing a kiss.” Most of the comments thought it was an adorable moment. But fuck that. If there’s one thing I know, it’s dolphins. And there’s not a shadow of doubt in my mind that this dolphin was 15 seconds away from jumping into that boat and raping everything in it. Man, woman, both dogs…none would stand a chance. This dolphin starts out flirting with man’s best friend in order to lull the humans into a false sense of safety. This smart rape-beast was this close to jumping into that boat and hate-banging the shit out of everything in it. What really makes me mad though is that people will misinterpret this act of “kissing” as something cute dolphins do because they’re so friendly. No. This dolphin is screaming Pepe le Pew with the inter-sepcies rape tactics it’s demonstrating here. Really makes my blood boil to see this kind of shit.